The Writers Circle

creative writing community, craft and inspiration

‘Twas the Tweet before Christmas…

For those of you who missed The Writers Circle’s terrific holiday gathering this past Saturday, here’s a little holiday treat written and shared by one of our circle, Michael Pilla. It’s a perfect re-envisioning of a holiday classic, just right for the moment in which we live.

‘Twas the Tweet before Christmas…

Michael Pilla reading "Twas the Tweet Before Christmas..." at The Writers Circle Holiday Gathering

Michael Pilla reading "Twas the Tweet Before Christmas..." at The Writers Circle Holiday Gathering

‘Twas the Tweet before Christmas…
And all through the ‘net, there were last minute specials,
And shopping time yet!
Photos were sent to the cloud with great care
So family and friends would be able to share.
The usual gadgets, some small and some large,
Were all neatly plugged in for their overnight recharge.
And mom on her iPad and me on my Mac
Were Skype-ing our friends while having a snack
When then our connection was lost to the router.
I yanked off my earbuds to see what was the matter.
A tingling I felt, from my head to my toes
Spying a red Mini Cooper festooned with logos
Flying faster than video on 1080p.
The driver called out his sponsors, as clear as can be…
“Now eBay, now Apple, now Am’zon and Zappos
On Google, on Priceline, on Fedex and Fios.”
I knew in a moment, without any pause,
He was the new and improved Santa, “Cyber” Claus.
Struck speechless was I, much like a mime.
But I had to go greet him and grab some face time.
His clothes were Armani, to give him his due
He looked healthy and rested, and much slimmer too.
No more with the sleigh, or toys in the sack.
That was old Claus, with the bad back.
“I’m the Mayor of Christmas,” he chortled with glee
As he checked in with FourSquare, before speaking to me.
“With gadgets and cards,” he briefly explained,
“My job’s become easier, no need to strain.
I’ve streamlined my workshop. There’s much less to do.
Put a factory in China, reindeers in a zoo.
I laid off some elves as I now work part time
Since I developed an app to keep kiddies in line.
No more written lists of those naughty and nice.
I get real-time updates–don’t have to check twice.”
He dropped off some gifts that were both pretty and small
And sucked down the Red Bull I left in the hall.
Then quick as a wink he dashed out to his car.
It started right up, and was bright as star.
He texted my Droid as he drove out of sight,
“Like me on Facebook” and have a good night.

Michael Pilla

About Judith

Judith Lindbergh's latest novel, Pasture of Heaven, is about a nomad woman warrior on the Central Asian steppes in the 5th century BCE. (And there really were!) Her first novel, The Thrall's Tale, is a literary historical novel about three women in the first Viking Age settlement in 10th century Greenland. The Thrall's Tale was a Booksense Pick and a Borders Original Voices selection. Judith is also the founder and director of The Writers Circle, a creative writing program offering workshops for children and adults.

7 comments on “‘Twas the Tweet before Christmas…

  1. Tara
    December 11, 2011

    So funny, but I think it was even funnier with Michael reading it! Video on YouTube please, Michael!

  2. :Donna Marie
    December 12, 2011

    OH, how CLEVER!

  3. Darlene
    December 12, 2011

    LOVE this! Have sent it to everyone.

  4. serenitywriter
    December 12, 2011

    Perfect for the times! I loved the Red Bull. : )

  5. Barbara
    December 13, 2011

    Fantastic – love it.

  6. pattisj
    December 13, 2011


  7. Kim Pfennigwerth (@kpfenni)
    December 13, 2011

    This is perfect for today’s technology. I walked through the mall tonight with a guy telling his girlfriend to stop texting only to have her phone find their car for them

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This entry was posted on December 11, 2011 by in Creative Writing, Writers Groups and tagged , .
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